‘Weekly Watch Dog’ Archives
Watchdog – FOOTBAWL
Watchdog FOOTBAWL If you go to the World Cup, You'll never forget it, But because of the noise, You might live to regret it. The players are focused, Their skill undisputed, But will the fans ever stop All those horns being tooted? The games can be draggy, Full of action they ain't, Like the growing of grass Or the drying of [...]
TOO MANY BALLS IN (and on) THE AIR
With the playoff season now underway In the NHL and NBA, Hockey and basketball are all the rage, Firmly entrenched at center stage. While excitement for these sports climbs to a peak, With the balls and pucks aflying, The guys who should have all the ink Are audibly into sighing. For April means that baseball Is here for its six month [...]
LARRY THE EIGHTH
Step right up and show your ring If you've ever been married to Larry King, And if you haven't, don't look askance, For now you've got another chance. Would you ever want to cling To a goofy guy like Larry King? He may or may not be a phoney, But he's big time into alimony. Larry's wives sought paradise, One went through the wringer [...]
OUR PAL JOEY
In politics it's oft been said That talk is truly cheap, And that can be confirmed whenever We hear from Joey the Veep. One would think he'd think before He orates, even though he's chidin', But that is not the way he thinks, If he thinks at all - Joey Biden. He's scaled the peak - he's made his mark, Through life he should be [...]
WILL BLUE FACES BE RED ?
Upsets have abounded and teams with no chance Are sticking around to jive at The Dance; Northern Iowa and St. Mary leap quickly to mind, With Xavier and K. State not far behind. Some animals still prowl in their powerful lairs - The Bulldogs and Huskies and Panthers and Bears, And do not exclude Tennessee's Volunteers, The Buckeyes and [...]
Tinkers to Evers to Uncle Sam
Tinkers to Evers to Uncle Sam As the baseball season fast approaches The players, managers and coaches Who hold our nation’s plight so dear Will forsake their salaries this year. That second baseman from Detroit Fast as lightning, quick, adroit And the Cardinals’ lead-off man, a blur Hauling down 6 million per To [...]
OPEN LETTER TO TIGER
Tiger Honey - listen up, It seems you're not aware That your little talk the other day Did zilch to clear the air. You needn't ever bare your soul, You owe nothing to our ears, But if you want acquittal From a jury of your peers, Call an open session, Take ALL questions from the press, Be truthful with your answers And you'll then [...]
THE STATE OF THE SATIRE
THE STATE OF THE SATIRE Once every year I'm obliged to report, And that time of the year's come around, And so I can state without any fear That the State of the Satire's sound. We're not involved in any wars, Our foes do not exist; Our cup doth runneth over, Our mill is full of grist. Calvin Trillon, Ogden Nash, The gods [...]
TWO POINT FIVE MILLION A POP
TWO POINT FIVE MILLION A POP The game was a keeper, On Bourbon Street no complaints, And with one oops from Peyton It was "HAIL TO THE SAINTS." But now for the good stuff, Let's rate all the ads, And separate the goods and okays From the bads. There sure were some stinkers, Like Go-Daddy - a bomb, And the ultra light beer Had [...]
A DRIVE IN THE WOODS
A DRIVE IN THE WOODS In the year just past, we can recall That some noble deeds took place; Captain Sully comes to mind, A legend we all embrace. But there were some real bad actors, Too dumb to even be coy, Like the Governor with a seat for sale; That twit from Illinois. Sanford and Letterman strayed from the [...]
